During the Holidays
The holidays are a time we’re reminded to be thankful — but for many, they also bring a quiet ache. This season can highlight loss — whether through death, separation, distance, or broken relationships. Empty chairs, quiet traditions, or missing laughter can make the days feel longer and the nights colder.
I used to believe the holidays were meant to be purely joyful. But over time, I’ve learned that joy and sorrow often share the same space. It’s possible to feel both grateful and grieving — to laugh while still missing someone deeply. That’s the paradox of healing: learning to let both feelings coexist.
Redefining Family and Connection
Family doesn’t always mean those we share DNA with.
Sometimes, the truest family is found in the people who choose to stand beside us — friends who listen, encourage, and love us through our messiest moments. They’re the ones who remind us that we’re still worthy of laughter, even when life feels heavy.
There’s nothing wrong with building a family out of love instead of lineage. Life has a way of bringing the right people into our path when we’re open to receiving them. As I’ve healed, I’ve realized that joy often returns in the form of these connections — the quiet dinners, the inside jokes, the simple “I’m thinking of you” messages that remind us we’re not alone.
Grief and Gratitude Can Coexist
Some years, the weight of loss feels heavier than others. The memories flood back, the traditions sting, and it’s tempting to sink into the emptiness. But I’ve found that even in those moments, gratitude becomes the soft landing — not because it erases pain, but because it gently reframes it.
Gratitude says, “I’m thankful I got to love that deeply.”
It shifts our focus from what’s gone to what remains — the lessons, the love, and the resilience we didn’t know we had.
The Power of Words and Presence
I make a conscious effort each year to focus on what I speak — to speak life over myself and those around me. Our words are powerful. They shape how we see ourselves and how we heal.
When we choose to speak kindness instead of bitterness, hope instead of despair, something beautiful happens: we start to believe our own words. And that belief changes how we move through the world.
So this year, I choose to let my words plant seeds — of peace, joy, and compassion — because those are the things that always grow back.
Choosing Joy Again
It’s okay to feel sadness, to grieve what’s been lost, to miss the people who once filled the room. But don’t stay there. Let yourself feel, then let yourself rise. Joy comes, sometimes quietly — in a sunrise, in a child’s laughter, in the warmth of someone’s understanding.
Take time this holiday to embrace the people who stand by you, whether they’re family by blood or by heart. You deserve laughter, love, and the goodness life still has to offer.
Through this season, let’s be intentional about gratitude — not just for what we have, but for the connections we nurture. Remember: our words and actions can bring light into dark places. So, choose joy. Speak life. And celebrate the beauty of every new morning with an open heart.
If you connected with this reflection on finding light after loss, you may also find hope in these heartfelt reads:
Finding Gratitude Through Grief — a gentle reminder that even in sorrow, gratitude can guide you back toward peace and faith.
Grief: The Unexpected Feelings That Surface After Healing — an honest look at the emotions that appear long after loss and what healing really feels like.
If you or someone you love is struggling with grief or loss, you’re not alone. There are organizations that offer free support, guidance, and community: #988